So I am off work today and I find myself looking for effective, painless ways to commit suicide. I have not found a way yet. I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing. I am so tired, mentally. Tired of faking being happy, tired of acting like every thing is okay. It's not.
I don't even know what to say. I'm not sure if I want people to read this or not. I don't want people to feel bad about me or for me or any of that. I am so alone. I talk to people all the time online but that doesn't seem to help. I only know once where some one has invited ME to interact. It's always me having to ask. I'm tired of asking. How fucking useless am I to where no one wants to be around me? Thinking about this makes me sick to my stomach.
Hopefully I don't have to deal with any of this for much longer.
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