I don't know how much longer I can struggle...

I am getting close to giving up. I am so physically tired all the time. I have no energy to do anything. I feel like  I just keep forcing myself into other people's lives just to get ignored. No, not ignored, but just maybe disregarded. I feel like I am too negative, but it's so hard to act happy. I'm desparate for socializing, but hate the people around me. All the people I would like to be around are so far away. Or I've succeeded in pushing them away. I don't even know any more. I just want something to change, but nothing I try works. I'm in a downward spiral and I just can't seem to change that. And any more, I am not really sure I want to. I really think the world would be a better place with out me.