Just having one of those days. Got to listen to the coworkers around me complain all day and constantly ask for help. From me...the one they got promoted over. Just listening to them bitch and moan about how rough they have it, not being able to eat out for lunch and dinner. I know it's just jealously on my part, but I'm just sick of them. I hate my job but there's nothing else around here any way.
And then family. Sigh. I know they love me, I really do. It just feels like no matter what I do, I always disappoint. I know I base too many of my feelings on what other people think, but I can't help it. I just never feel like I'm a part of anything. Every time I try, I just get looks of disdain.
I'm so tired of waking up every morning and the first thought I have is "FUCK, I woke up." I'd truly love to go to bed tonight and just not wake up. That would solve all my problems. Blink, light's out. No more crap life, no more crap feelings, no more crap existence. But it won't happen, I'm not that lucky.
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